Yesses and Noes
I was driving a car down an easy, slow street, thinking, and an old idea hit me again — I’ve thought about this all before, but ideas come around in circles — that I hold onto negative reactions because they make me feel like I'm in control. I say no, and it's just done. I put my foot down. I refuse. I get to choose what happens next, or at least I feel like I do. Things will stay relatively the way I’m used to thinking they are.
If I were to say yes, then many things could happen, and I am at least partially responsible for the outcomes, outcomes I haven't seen yet, outcomes that aren't the same as right now, where I could safely stay if I said no.
I had this idea again years ago after having a rough bit with cancer, quitting a job, and figuring out a new kind of life. That was when I decided to start saying yes more often. I still love saying no, though. It’s a warm blanket sometimes. No is easy.
I’m just reminding myself that yes can toss up your life, but it can also help you find new warm blankets, if the old blankets aren’t much good anymore.