Things That Drive Me Crazy Upon Returning Home After a Trip

This is Aidan at a Husky House truck stop.

This is Aidan at a Husky House truck stop.

  1. I try to make toast and find that the bread has mould on every single slice.
  2. The entire apartment smells like the cats' litter, and I must scoop out five pounds of it, mix in a box of baking soda, burn incense, and make a trip to the dumpster before I can deal.
  3. My back is a knotted mess after driving for over eight hours.
  4. It takes two trips to bring everything up from the car, but, rather than make the second trip, I spend a bunch of time debating with myself about whether leaving the second load of stuff in the car for possible theft is maybe a semi-voluntary form of decluttering.
  5. Invariably, I eat everything I see during my trip, and now I must sit in the fullness of what I have done to myself, pants unzipped.
  6. My email has become a virtual Hydra.
  7. My chin gifts me with return-from-vacation zits.
  8. My brain immediately dives right back into lists of all the work I have to do and how far behind I perceive myself to be.
  9. We are out of cream for our morning coffee.
  10. I repeatedly check out the window to make sure no one's broken into the car to steal our second load of stuff yet, but I do not go down to get it and save myself the angst, no, because even this anxiety cannot override my post-trip laziness.