The State of My Desk: This Cat Is Opposed to Me Doing Any Work Whatsoever

This has been the state of my desk for hours. I have thrown Onion on the floor several times, locked him in the bathroom (where he threw our towels on the floor and wailed for 20 minutes), and given him treats. Nothing is as good as stretching all over my keyboard while making raptor noises, I guess.

Mmow. (That's Onion's special raptor meow, and it must be said in only the creakiest of voices.)