Onion Listens to My Phone Calls
Onion listens to my phone calls. He seems to recognize that I am not speaking to him and instead stares at the phone like he's listening very hard to the little, tiny person inside it. He looks a bit too intelligent when he does this, though, like he's actually an animatronic spy from the political intelligentsia instead of my overly attached housecat.
Shhh. I've said too much.