Lobster Love: A Conversation
AIDAN: I'm going to pince you. [He reaches out, pinching with hands folded into claws.]
ME: Don't you mean "pinch"?
AIDAN: No, I'm going to pince you. [He grabs at me with his claw hands.] Pince, pince, pince, pince. See?
ME: Stop it. STOP IT.
AIDAN: You don't want to be married to a lobster? What do you have against lobsters?
ME: Nothing. I don't like eating them.
AIDAN: You don't have to eat any. Why wouldn't you want to be with a lobster?
ME: You mean sexually?
AIDAN: Well, no, that's not all it would be.
ME: No, I do not want to get bestial with a sea bug. Nope.
AIDAN: But it wouldn't be that weird. After a few years, your relationship would naturally change into a more companionable affection. Don't make it dirty.
AIDAN: Pince. Pince, pince, pince.