Depression Continues to Lie, plus Grace in Small Things No. 534

I have had a brutal two weeks. I am not being hyperbolic. This is honesty about my deal with depression and anxiety. I might, just maybe a little bit, be seeing an upswing out of the depths, a little bit of sunlight, and little less ugliness, but it has been a war in here. No kidding.

If you ever see the #DepressionLies hashtag or phone numbers for suicide hotlines go by on Twitter or Facebook and wonder if they make any difference, if they have ever saved or helped or even momentarily buoyed someone's hope, know that they do and they have. Such tiny little collections of pixels sent out scattershot by people in remote locations manage to have a power that is hard to understand unless you are the person to whom they are meant to speak. They work on those of us who are sitting quiet, feeling silenced and dark, and your messages, even if you never see where they land, do land.

And, because I made it through this far, and I will continue to for this round, I want to remember my gratitude:

  1. I am so damn thankful for all those scattershot tweets and updates I read over the last two weeks that reminded me to be patient and see this thing through.
  2. My 13th wedding anniversary was simple and exactly right, dinner and a movie with the man I would choose again and again.
  3. I caught the cancer before it went too far almost seven years ago, and, although I still struggle with some of the physical and psychological aftermath, my life experience is so far seven years richer.
  4. I am going to listen to live music under a full moon at a house with a small group of lovely people tonight, and it will move me softly into this weekend.
  5. There is the possibility of hope even where there is no hope, because possibility doesn't require my belief, or yours.

Thank you. I'm glad you're here.


Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace in Small Things.