Depression Has Stolen Another Friend. There Is Help. I Don't Know What Else To Do.
I just found out that someone I have known for years died by suicide. We wrote together at pop culture site and hung out together at conferences. Anastacia's was the first website I ever designed. She is maybe one of about three people I've ever met who had so much grace and beauty that I couldn't believe they would talk to me. But she would. In truth, we were more acquaintances than close friends, but she is someone I thought of often and quietly checked in on regularly. I watched her from a distance, and now I wish I hadn't been so quiet. She was beautiful and kind and deeply valued, and the world was better for her being in it.
I know this all sounds like what everyone says when someone young dies, but it's true nonetheless.
I have struggled with suicidal thinking since I was eight years old, and I know how dark it gets. If any of you are struggling with these kinds of thoughts, please reach out. Depression lies, and it is so convincing.
If you need to talk to someone or can't see another way out:
- Canada: Canadian Crisis Centres
- United States: US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
- International: International Association for Suicide Prevention (Click on the map to find centres closer to your location.)
- Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing: Crisis Text Line
- LGBTQ: The Trevor Project
- Transgender: Trans Lifeline
I have made these calls. They were some of the hardest calls I ever made, and they didn't fix me, but the strangers on the other end walked me through some of the hardest parts to the other side, and now that I am here, I am so grateful to them. Sometimes strangers offer the safest and softest places to fall.
I don't know what else to do.