#507: COUNT YOURSELF DRUNK DIALLED

This is almost like drunk dialling my friends, except I never use the telephone. It is like I am drunk dialling, because I am drunk, except this is the internet.

If only you knew how funny this was to me, because I promised I would never do this, and here I am. Awesome.

I am home alone to do this drunken internetting because the Fiery One has gone off with the rest of the crew to sit by a warm fire in a good friend's back yard, but I, with my neurosis, could not attend. Our friends kept trying to convince me to go until I was forced to give up my stupid explanation.

What neurosis, you ask? It's not all that interesting, really, but my reason for not being able to go and hang out with dear friends by a fire is a rare one. I am an eosophobe.

Eosophobia: a fear of the dawn.

Stupid, I know. I get an inkling that the sun is going to rise, which can be the hint of periwinkle on the horizon or a bird chirping or a certain scent in the air, and my mind goes into a tailspin. All I can think of to do is hide my head under a pillow until the sun is risen. If I could explain it, I would, but there's no sense to it, which means that I have about half an hour before the real anxiety sets in.

Seriously, this dawn suspense is nearly killing me. I am wondering what the fuck I am doing sitting here and typing when this freaking impending dear-god-I-am-going-to-die dawn horror could happen any moment. THE WEAK LIGHT OF EARLY DAWN IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, AND MY GOD, THIS HEART IN MY CHEST WILL STOP IF EVEN ONE OF THE SUN'S EARLIEST RAYS GRAZES MY PUPILS.

I am taking me and my phobic self off to hide under a pillow.

While I am there, pulling the corners of my pillow in around my ears, here are some links to keep everyone busy before I become a freaking pumpkin:

A vintage letter from bighappyfunhouse.

"Duck and Cover", a vintage wartime video from WWII.

Reality Carnival

I have said this before, but go and watch "The Show" with zefrank.

And, Mimi Smartypants' daughter Nora is too on top of the human condition.

And now I must go and hide under a blanket with a pillow over my head, because the sun is going to do its crazy thing and rise in an hour, and I must be fully unconscious for that horrifying space of time. Not even five pints can quel the chickenheartedness of this eosophobe.

Ack.

Am I alone here? I understand that my condition is a rare one, but there must be more than one of me in my social sphere. Or, barring my finding a fellow eosophobe, do you have a fear you'd like to share? Because, honestly, it is 3:54 am, and I am fleeing the sunrise. I'd lke to know that I am not the only one avoiding some irrational dread.

Places I've read recently: Open Book, Plep, and How to Save the World.

Elan Morgan12 Comments