Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

#324: PACKING, COSMOPOLIAN PICTURES, AND A SUDDEN SAD LACK OF INTERNET ACCESS

I am just taking a break now from the intensive cleaning exercises I have been performing since about 9:00 this morning. It's not even noon yet, but once you hear how much I've done in two-and-a-half hours, you will be über impressed. So far, I have done two loads of laundry, folded and put the previous day's laundry away, washed two loads of dishes (by hand, mind you), filled two large green garbage bags and marched them down to the dumpster along with three smaller garbage bags, swept, made coffee at somewhere around 10:45 to keep me motivated, dusted, emptied and cleaned up plant pots that were only serving the purpose of propping up the dried remains of my attempt at discovering a green thumb, packed up three boxes after emptying the cupboards, and I helped the building manager remove and replace the screens from our windows so that two huge burly guys could wash their exteriors.

You want to know something? This apartment still looks like utter crap. Craptastically craptacular crap.

There doesn't seem to be any less of anything. Inanimate objects spontaneously pop out of the ether and directly into this goddammed apartment. I noticed this phenomenon shortly after we moved into this place in June of 2001. We had quite a few books between the two of us, so we packed some of the extras away and planned to eventually buy a second set of bookshelves. Now we have two large sets, we have not unpacked any of the extra books we left in boxes, and both sets of shelving are managing to sustain books crammed in two rows deep and around their bottoms on the floor. One drawer of black socks became two drawers of unmatched many-coloured socks, ten hand towels have budded into at least twenty, our broom begat a second broom handle of unknown origin that I found meagerly subsisting on dustbunnies and rabbit turds behind some furniture. (If you've ever had a rabbit that roamed freely in your house, you will know how those little pellets of digested vegetable matter can turn up in places you didn't even know the rabbit could get to).

What I'm saying is this: how is it that we have come to possess not only a Moulinex Multitrio mini food processor but also an Österizer blender and a Tupperware hand chopper? I doubt we really have need of all three unless we are planning on putting up a display delineating the evolutionary progress of domestic chopping tools, which we are so not.

No, that's not what I'm saying. That was just another example. Let me give this another try.

WE HAVE TOO MUCH SHIT FOR TWO PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED IN THE TINIEST SPECK OF AN APARTMENT FOR FOUR YEARS AND WHO ALMOST NEVER BUY HOUSEHOLD ITEMS.

Actually, a lot of this stuff came from the windfall that was our wedding gifts, and our wedding did not even exceed ninety-five people. My advice to you, if you want to live a simple and uncluttered life: don't get married, say you did, and most people won't know the difference anyway. You will end up with far fewer items that require dusting.

Yes, back to this break I am taking from packing and cleaning. My hands are itchy and dry, I keep sneezing from the dust, and coffee seemed like such a good idea, so I sat down here and noticed a package of photographs that I picked up yesterday. With all the chaos around here, I didn't even think to open them up last night. I don't even know what they are or when they were taken. Let's take a look..... Ah, they're pictures from our last trip to Cosmopolis in mid-June.

The following photograph is of a cat named Jasper. He is not my parents-in-law's cat, but you would never know it my all the eating and sleeping he does there. When I was on their computer upstairs, Jasper came up to visit and had a heated argument with the power bar.

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As you can see in the next one, Jasper does not exert himself if he doesn't have to. What I love about this photograph, which was taken by the Fiery One when he took over my camera, is the look on the other cat's face.. Ginger is my mother-in-law's cat, and she cannot stand Jasper. Jasper doesn't give a good goddamm what anyone thinks.

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And next, a tap. This tap is in the bathroom of a house that my friends Starcat and Batty just moved out of at the end of June. I overlayed the pictured with a brown shade to make it look older.

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The next photograph excellently illustrates one of the reasons why moving out of this house was such a good idea on their part. (I will have you know that I was not on an angle when I took this picture).

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Here is a side view of these lovely steps.

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I found the shed in their back garden to be stunning. The photograph didn't quite capture it, but it turned out better than I thought it would.

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The Fiery One and I were helping Batty move into his new apartment when I came across this amazing fungus-like growth at the edge of the sidewalk. I stretched out on my belly to take this picture and ended up doing very little to help out with carrying Batty's stuff inside the building.

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OH, HOLY FREAKING HELL. I was just going to put in one last picture of a tree with a horribly disfiguring fungal growth on it, and our internet quit. At least I got this far with the photographs. I think I told our internet provider to cut off our internet access one day too early, so now I am actually in an internet café finishing this entry. We will be without internet access at home until Saturday. How horribly sad. At least I left you with an extra long entry with pretty pictures to look at.

I guess it's back to packing, cleaning, and whatever other offline activities I can find.

'Till Saturday!