Who changes her template every three months? I do! I do! The Palinode laughs at me every time I do it, because I will lead him to the computer and say See? Isn't it just perfect? I think it's my favourite design yet, and then he replies That's exactly what you said last time. And he's right. Every time I redesign this place, it's my favourite design ever. This one? It's the best one I've ever had. I will keep it this way for an entire year. I swear.


As I type this, I am dropping large penne noodles covered in oily dressing all over my lap, chair, and keyboard. Do you know how hard it is to manipulate a fork into transporting oily, rubbery pasta to your mouth while you are typing things with one hand that come out like this: A am typpinhy this with one hangd? Very hard.

It reminds me of that time in grade nine orienteering (institutionalized torture of neophyte highschoolers for the enjoyment of their older peers, for those of you who don't know) when we were made to stand in long boy-girl-boy-girl lines in the gym with toothpicks clenched in our teeth. The idea was that you had to take a lifesaver from the toothpick in mouth of the person behind you with your toothpick and then pass that lifesaver from your toothpick to the person's in front of you. The older kids were all laughing, because ha ha, it looked like the gym was filled with a four hundred kid strong make-out orgy. I thought the game would kill me, really and truly, because I had never so much as kissed a boy before, and here was some six-footer two inches from my five-foot self doing his best to take an orange candy that had fallen against my lips.

The point is that he was tall and I was short and frozen like stone with abject fear, so the endeavor was awkward as all get out, like eating oily pasta salad while typing and looking at a computer screen, only without the abject fear.

So, yes, I have spiffed this place up yet again. I wasn't going to, but then I was inspired after I created a header image for the Palinode. It got the itch started again, and the only way I know of scratching is to get out my camera, the scanner, and Photoshop to see what I can do. Please let me know if something is not functioning properly for you, because although I checked this thing in different browsers, I was more than a little high on codeine and/or muscle relaxants and/or beer when I did it, so I may have overlooked some things. Or a lot of things. My weekend is kind of a hazy mish-mash of actual memories and vivid dreams, and I haven't quite pulled them apart yet.

Another aside:

I had this heartbreaking dream last night that I was walking down the street with Abigail. The weather was cold and damp, and I suddenly realized that it was fall! Fall! When the last thing I remembered was just before anything began to grow in spring! How did this happen?! I yelled. I didn't even get to see the goddamned buds on the trees! Where are the fucking leaves?! How did I miss all of spring and summer? There is no life left for me anymore. Abigail patted my shoulder and tried to reassure me that spring would come again and that there would be other summers, but I slumped my shoulders in defeat. If I could not relish the warmer months, let alone remember them, what was the point if I was only going to be aware of the cold, dark months that break my will year after year?

I know. Real cheery. Something tells me that although the anti-depressant I've been on since January seems to be working, I'm still a tad anxious about my seasonal depression.

Where was I? Oh, yes. On top of redesigning this place over the weekend, I also bought my own domain for Schmoetry. For years and years I have written poetry and loved poetry and then tried to break up with poetry only find myself jotting things down on slips of found paper again, and I thought that it was about time to come right out and say that me and poetry are kind of official now. We're not quite married, but we make out a lot and like the same books. We're going steady, I guess.

And, the last thing I have to tell you is that I have been slowly updating my Favourite Entries section. I've just been sticking whatever I like into the list, but if you think there are entries that I should put in there that aren't there yet, let me know. I am constantly shocked by what you like, so I probably shouldn't be the only one choosing the best ofs.

Auf Wiedersehen, and good night.