#628: I ACTUALLY HAD TO ASK SOMEONE HOW TO SPELL "WHOAH". KEEP ME AWAY FROM THE STOVE.

Whoah.

I will elaborate later, but in short, I went to the doctor, she prescribed me an antidepressant, I filled the prescription, and now I am really very high, which I will elaborate on now. Here is how a conversation with the Palinode went approximately ten minutes ago:

Schmutzie: Wow, am I ever high.
Palinode: Yeah? That'll probably go away eventually.
Schmutzie: I finished knitting my scarf. Look, you can't even see where any of my ends are.
Palinode: It's nice. I like the pattern in it.
Schmutzie: I want more coffee. Do we have more coffee?
Palinode: Yep.
Schmutzie: I forgot to get extra cash out of the machine when I went to the store.
Palinode: That's alright.
Schmutzie: I'm going to take some pictures now. With my camera.
Palinode: You should put a picture of your scarf on your blog.
Schmutzie: My mouth feels sticky inside.
Palinode: Drink some water.
Schmutzie: There's some stuff stuck to the bottoms of my socks, and it's annoying.
Palinode: You were five in 1977. There's plastic dust in orange cheese powder. What's that noise?
Schmutzie: I am that good at conversation right now, aren't I? Man, am I ever high.

He's given up on me and is now watching a dvd in the living room, leaving me to suffer my complete lack of focus all on my own. My mouth is dry and Why do they describe Matouk's sauce as "calypso" and Holy crap is Oscar ever black and I wonder how long I can wait to go pee are a few of the myriad things crowding around in my brain. You can imagine that this paragraph has taken me a stupidly long time to write what with reading the ingredients on a bag of chips and having a difficult time typing "calypso" and trying to remember what it is I meant to be writing about, because it's not this. You can imagine that this paragraph has taken me well over twenty minutes to hack out.

Want to see the scarf I just made with some of the yarn that Joan sent me? Sure you do.

scarf


I am wearing the scarf right now. And I'm making coffee. Or, at least, I started by filling the tea kettle with water, and then I forgot all about the beans and the grinding and the scooping, so the Palinode finished it for me. Also, I got a new little webcam, so there may be some precious cat videos here in the near future. I'm craving ginger beef. Did you know that pasta primavera was invented in New York? I smell burning. Remember the old tea kettle incident?*

This is not going as well as I had hoped. The writing part of this, I mean. The drugs are awesome.

See, I've gone all mushy around the brain tissue. It's a shame, really, because you were all so wonderful to me yesterday, and I would love to be able to express that properly. Hopefully, sometime within the next few days, I will be able to hold onto one thought for more than a few seconds. You made going to the appointment and filling my prescription a far less unsettling experience than it would have been otherwise, and you cemented my confidence in this plan of action. Thank you. I am giving you mushy cheek kisses. Murfle.** Mwah.

I'm going to go eat toast with brown sugar on it.

* After I typed that sentence about the tea kettle incident, the smell of burning grew stronger and stronger until it bore much too close a resemblance to the actual tea kettle incident. I just checked the stove to see what was up. I turned on the wrong burner. I think my cast iron fry pan is damn near sterilized now. Am I ever high. Whoah.

** I've got nothing to add here. I just threw two asterisks after murfle, and I just noticed them when I was editing. I can't remember why I put them there.

Elan Morgan8 Comments