The Math of Love (In Light of the Recent Violence In Boston)

avocadoes
These are the cojones it took for me to write this post.

In light of the world being what it is today, which is what it's always been — beautiful, immense, and overwhelming in both good and crushing ways — I feel moved to tell you all that I love you.

Stop rolling your eyes over there, you. I see that.

I really do mean it, though. It is so easy to wrap my judgement around myself, protect myself from fear of the things I cannot control, both real and imagined, and congratulate myself on not being a conspiracy theorist or a bigot or a media outlet using this to further a self-serving agenda.

That's my fear talking, though, and deeper than that, when I really dig into the meat of me, the birthplace of my compassion, the place from which our connection to each other springs, that's my grief talking. To really grieve the hard things that happen on the larger human scale means that I have to acknowledge our pain and our fear, the grief that lies not only in the people I can easily label Good, but that also lies in the people I can easily label Bad. Our human connection does not end with my subjective valuation of your life and actions.

While I sat with this grief this morning and thought about what that grief means, how it comes out of the bones-deep compassion we often, and quite naturally, bury under layers of self-protection, I realized that what was really down there was love, and I realized that maybe someone out there needs to hear that this love exists out there for them, no matter who it is that is doing the loving.

The brilliant part of this is that if someone as faulty as I am can love you today — and, seriously, I can be a fairly terrible individual given the right circumstances — it only stands to reason that at least one other person on this giant planet loves you, too.

If you know the math of love, and I know deep down in the meat of you that you do, and if we are all loved by at least two people, which we have already established is almost certainly true, you know that our capacity for committing love-based acts of goodness is and always has been boundless.

So, I love you, and I want you to walk with that today.