Do You Ever Have Those Days?

The above is an experiment. I'm writing this entry while on a bus between cities, and I'm sharing the ambient noise of my trip with you, which you can ignore or listen to while your read.

I'm also having one of those days.


Do you ever have those days where you feel really skinny even though you know objectively that you're not skinny, like you're somehow starving from the inside? I'm walking around feeling gaunt and arguing with the reality of my second chin.

coffee in bed, courtesy of @palinode

Do you ever have those days where you congratulate yourself for slowly decreasing the cream you use in your coffee to almost nothing because you've decided dairy products are probably evil, only to realize that deriving such a strong sense of moral rectitude from dairy denial is probably a sign of spiritual desperation?

Onion says it's nap time now.

Do you ever have those days where you are pretty sure that even your cat is actively judging you for both your general appearance and your refusal to get out of bed at the tail end of the longest winter ever in the recorded history of humankind?

I am in the fanciest bathroom on earth right now.

Do you ever have those days where you walk into a place like the bathroom pictured above and think My success has taken me to such great heights that I wish we had time travel already so I could go back and tell my high school self how awesome this is?

my hair doing the wave

Do you ever have those days where you leave the grossest bathroom in all of Saskatchewan only to find that your bus is leaving without you, and you end up running down the side of the highway through slush and mud, yelling at the bus, and thinking, again, Oh what great heights my success hath wrought?

I'm kidding. Sort of. I am travelling on a bus to another city at this very moment, and it really did almost abandon me at the place with the worst bathroom in Saskatchewan, but even though today has so far been humbling, I'm actually grateful for it. I'm slowly learning that when I get taken down a peg or two, there is more room for laughter and less judgement.

Right now? I'm laughing at the ditch mud on my jeans while I eat fistfuls of white cheddar popcorn and listen to Reggie Watts' "Fuck Shit Stack" something totally tasteful of which my mother would approve.

And what are you doing?

103/365: Ed Norton Fantasy Poem #9

102/365: Wake Up or Walk Away