337/365: Ed Norton Fantasy Poem #15, The Pillow Patent


photo credit: Danpape

Ed said, "Want some tea?"
He's been pushing tea this week
with a fake accent.
"I wouldn't mind tea," I said,
"but drop the Downton Abbey."
"I like the accent,"
Ed said, "I think I sound smart.
Don't I sound cultured?"
"Ed, aren't you really famous?
People already like you."
"But I've been labelled
an odd sock sofa builder
and guppy salesman.
I want folks to think I'm cool,
that I have it together."
"You are and you do.
What's got you so upset, Ed?
Why so insecure?"
"I tried to get a patent
for Ed Norton Love Pillows.
"They giggled. They laughed.
They asked if it was a toy,
you know, like for sex.
My tagline was gonna be
Take a sleep on the cool side."
"Oh, sweet Ed," I said,
"I have awful ideas.
Don't listen to me."
"I know that now," Ed said, sad,
"I sure do. Got any socks?"

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