Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

We Got the Keys to Our First Home!

I tried to edit this photo of the Palinode looking very important in our new condo's bathtub to express joy about our first ever piece of real estate, but I decided that I had to be honest and edited it for maximum anxiety and disorder:

Aidan in the bathtub of our first home 2

Don't get me wrong. I am excited about the Palinode and I buying our first home and moving out of this mould-ridden dump of an apartment. I really am.

Seriously, though, this place is a dump. If you don't look too closely, it's spacious at over 1200 square feet with tons of light, hardwood floors, 3 bedrooms, and a fireplace. Live here for a week, though, and you start to notice that the bathroom wall is literally caved in behind the cheap tub surround, there's mould blistering through the paint in three rooms that occasionally comes up through the floorboards, the floors are so uneven in two rooms that it's hard to keep your rolly chair at a desk, there is no heat all day sometimes when it's -40° out, the floor at one end of the hall is shifting up and down more and more when you walk on it, the radiators are veritable running taps, the basement right under us floods repeatedly, which creates a stink in our apartment, the bathroom in the apartment upstairs leaks water that bubbles behind the paint near our ceiling, and the banging of pipes is loud enough to send the cats running for cover.

But I'm not bitter.

And this is about our new condo!

So, a friend of the Palinode's father was selling her condo, and we went to see it at the beginning of August, even though we weren't looking for a place to buy. We liked it, she said she wanted to close in three weeks, and here we find ourselves quite unexpectedly as first time homeowners.

Visiting it as our own place for the first time yesterday left me weak-kneed, achy, and more than a little nauseous.

I don't know if you know this, but I am not great with handling change. It freaks out my whole system. So, while I would love to just be excited and start packing up this mess of an apartment to start our new lives in a gorgeous heritage building away from all this grossness, I am working through giant anxiety attacks.

Yay! We just bought a heritage condo in a building I love! Let me break out in hives and hyperventilate and lose sleep and grind my teeth and cry and self-medicate with grease and carbohydrates for a few days.

I am spending some time today investigating paint colours to distract myself from my dry mouth and muscle tension, because I am going to find my excitement, dammit.

Can any of you help me find the perfect robin's egg blue?

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Help 40 gain access to clean water for my 40th birthdayPS. My 40th birthday is on December 29th. I'm celebrating my birthday by raising enough money to bring 40 people clean water for life, and we're already 20% there! So, as a gift to me and to the world, let's make this happen.

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