World Domination Summit: Here's What I Need

I woke up at 5:00 a.m. with terrible pain in my neck. It's been out of place for over a week, and the muscle relaxants wear off while I'm sleeping. I felt panicked and trapped in my body from my first moment of consiousness.

So what was the first thing I decided to do? Check over my financial situation.

Look, it was five in the morning , I was in pain, and I'd just taken drugs. I wasn't at my smartest.


Anyway, I looked at my finances and came to terms with the fact that I really couldn't afford to go to the World Domination Summit. When I had signed up to go last year, I spent the majority of my available funds, $497. This is a lot of money for me, and I would normally never spend this much on anything. I don't even own a car, because a car costs more that $200. I'm cheap.

I will be the first to admit that it wasn't the best idea to throw most of my money at an event I wasn't even sure I could get to, but my intuition was louder than my good sense. Something in my belly said I had to go, and I said yes to that something.

I was so sad this morning that I couldn't use the ticket, but I had to suck it up, so I checked into transferring my ticket to another holder, but it turned out that I was a week too late to be able to do that. I was stuck with having spent $497 for a conference I couldn't attend.

Partly because of the physical pain I was in and partly because of anger at myself for going with my gut and partly out of sadness at not being able to go to the World Domination Summit and partly because it really hurts to be out that amount of money, I wept into my pillow very dramatically.


But then! I remembered this:

If you need something to get done but you don't have the resources, tell the world about it out loud. People might hear you.

So, I did, because you never know who's out there listening. Hell, Roseanne Barr tweeted at me last week to clarify that she was not fighting with Patton Oswalt. Anything can happen. So, I went on Twitter and said what was wrong and what I needed to happen.


Within fifteen minutes I was offered work, for which I would be paid up front, that would cover the cost of my flight. The person who offered this to me has no idea how much this means to me. She is the saint of Thursday.

I don't even know how to express my gratitude.

I'm going to Portland!

Now I really wept, because I said what I needed out loud when I felt so much doubt about my gut instincts, and someone stepped up and helped me to get to the goal I was feeling so much doubt about.

floor cuddles 4

I might not have a place to stay yet when I'm in Portland for the World Domination Summit, but I have the first two parts of the trio, the ticket and the travel, so I'm just going to go with my gut again.

floor cuddles 5

I could pack myself a cardboard box to use as shelter while I'm there, but I also want to smell nice while I'm at the conference.

So, here's what I need: is there a WDS-er out there who could handle an extra roommate in their hotel room? I promise to pay my share, and I'm generally pretty quiet, unless being loud is required, and there might even be some Canadian candy in it for you. What do you say?


UPDATE: I have both a place to stay and a plane ticket to WDS! I didn't think this could happen, but then it did. So, put what you need out there. You really never know.