50 Things I Do and Do Not Miss From Childhood

25 Things I Do Not Miss From Childhood

1. Eating my peas
2. Having very little privacy
3. Going to bed while the sun was still out
4. Not having my feelings and ideas taken seriously, even when my whole heart was in them
5. The stiff, overly thick, 1970s, corduroy pants that made loud shooshing noises when you walked
6. Bullies threatening me with physical violence and following me home from school
7. Group showers after Phys. Ed. classes
8. Feeling hopeless about The Bomb and praying fervently that the Russians and the Americans wouldn't push the button
9. Rugburn
10. My mother picking out my clothes
11. The feeling of devastation that relatively small events could cause
12. Navigating the complex world of female relationships
13. Being teased by grownups without any real ability to get away
14. Wanting to read far above my maturity level and not being allowed to
15. The awkwardness of other children's birthday parties
16. Organ lessons
17. Being continually supervised
18. How much elementary school played out like Lord of the Flies
19. Always outgrowing clothes that I loved
20. How everything I wanted seemed to be arbitrarily kept away from me by future ages
21. Show & Tell in front of the class
22. That time I lived in fear of my mother for a few days after I found her collection of what I thought were trophies from her alien kills in the fridge (olives stuffed with pimentos were new to me at the time)
23. Loose teeth
24. Religion-induced anxiety that my soul might be at stake over some inadvertent sin
25. That people gave me dolls as gifts, which I was alternately disinterested in or terrified by

25 Things I Do Miss From Childhood

1. Jumping on the bed
2. The soft clatter pennies made in my pink, plastic piggybank when I rolled it over the shag carpeting in the hallway
3. Cardboard boxes exciting the hell out of me
4. Giggling through church while adding "under the covers at night" to the end of every song title in the hymnal
5. Bug funerals
6. Putting everything in my mouth to taste it
7. The deep satisfaction after getting a perfect mark on a spelling test
8. That the dentist gave me a sparkly ring after each visit
9. How my fingers fit perfectly into the grooves meant to hold cigarettes in plastic hotel ashtrays
10. That a garden shed could be the center of whole kingdom
11. Climbing up high into a tree to read books
12. Rootbeer popsicles
13. The feeling peculiar to my mother cutting the tops open on a new set of finger paints
14. Lying around in deep states of boredom
15. The smell of my grandfather on a cotton pillowcase after he and my grandmother stayed the night
16. Wearing my father's old shirts as giant painting smocks
17. That lies felt like satisfying stories told well
18. Those giant Lip Smackers chapsticks that smelled like bubblegum
19. Reading books with a flashlight in the back of my closet where the carpet was still relatively unworn
20. The beach ball smell of my rain slicker and a new umbrella
21. Playing hard like it was my job
22. That everything my future self could possibly be, from a secretary to a heroin addict, seemed like equally dramatic and grand adventures
23. Learning to yo-yo while standing on a kitchen chair, because the string was too long and I was too short to do it from the floor
24. Hiding nuts in my hair at the lake for the squirrels to find
25. Long days stretching out ahead of me over which I had fairly free reign to invent ways to fill them