I'm Going to Die from Salmonella Poisoning, Aren't I?

What happens when you leave three cats alone for the first time in their new home?

Or, to be more specific, what happens when you leave three cats alone for the first time in their new home and they've learned the neat trick of opening the freezer by themselves?

chicken carcass 1

You are welcomed home from the Blissdom Canada '12 blog conference by a half-eaten chicken carcass, greasy drag marks across two rooms, three self-satisfied cats with funky scat, and the fear that your home is now coated with salmonella.

The moral of the story? Cats are giant dicks.

The End.

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PS. It turns out that the juice from the thawing meat in the freezer somehow dripped into the fridge and hit each shelf on its way down, so we had to throw out all our food. The cats' evil genius just got eviller.