I'm Feeling A Lot Less Smug

Oskar 4

That Oskar scaled to the top of our bathroom cupboard only to

  1. lean over the edge to puke
  2. A LOT,
  3. and that he managed to hit the outside of the cupboard
  4. and the inside of the cupboard
  5. and the toilet tank
  6. and my cosmetics bag that was sitting on top of the toilet tank
  7. and the toilet lid
  8. and the toilet seat
  9. and the sides of the toilet
  10. and the sides of the litter box,
  11. and that he left a rather impressive pile of glop on the floor,
  12. and that he somehow managed to get some of it on my shirt when I wasn't even present during the incident

makes me feel a lot less smug about my decision to never have children, because he's like having a permanent two-year-old, only one that can puke on you from the ceiling, and this should only last for possibly, oh, ANOTHER FOURTEEN YEARS.