Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

I See Kitten Mittens In Onion's Future

This is Onion nosing around under our door early in the morning, and it's what we wake up to more often than not since all cats have forever been banned from our bedroom.

Onion wanting to wake me up 2

We used to let all three of the cats pile up on the bed with us at night. Onion would stake out his corner at the bottom on my side, Lula would turn and knead and curl up on the Palinode's side, and Oskar would make his own neurotic ruckus by turning in circles and crawling under the covers and hiding under my knees and crawling out from under the covers and meowing about the whole thing and generally being really annoying.

Onion wanting to wake me up 1

Our bed was always covered in fur. (I am discounting the scant five minutes during which it was hair-free between my making a fresh bed and their leaping all over it, gleefully shooting fur from their backs and rolling it into my clean blankets.) The fur got into our eyes. We ate it. I joked about its being extra fibre. It was disgusting, but I wuv my widdle cuddle-muffins, oh yes I do, and I was reticent to kick them out.

And then the cats forced our decision. Lula and Onion started tag-teaming making pee statements on the bed, Lula because she was experiencing sexy times and wanted everyone to know about her sexy times and Onion because he was mad at me, oh so mad, because I told him he couldn't eat my boots or stick his feet in my water or something else totally unreasonable and unfair.

They have not gone gently into that good hallway.

Onion wanting to wake me up 3

They sincerely miss cuddling with us on the bed in the morning, but none so much as our Onion. He paces. He scratches. He mewls mournfully. He scratches. He scratches. He scratches. He scratches. OH MY GOD, HE HAS A DEATH WISH. HE DRAGS HIS NAILS DOWN THE BEDROOM DOOR. IT'S EAR-SPLITTING, AND I JUST MIGHT FORCE HIM TO WEAR LEATHER KITTEN MITTONS:



Early every morning, Onion wants to know why we have forsaken him so. He is bereft.

Onion wanting to wake me up 5

But look at that ear curled against the door frame. And that paw! The big galoot and I lay on our respective sides of the door on Saturday morning while he reached through to stroke my face with his fluffy little kitty foot. So what if he caught my lip on one of his claws and I bled a little, right?

Dude's cuteness bought his ass out of a snowdrift AGAIN. Cute is powerful, people.

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