Coffee With A Friend And iPhone Photography And Learning To Be Present

I had coffee with my friend Shanan today.

This is she:

Shanan and her iPhone

She has an iPhone 4 and wanted to know a bit about camera apps, and she came to me because I have a bit of an affinity for the iPhone 4 and its camera apps. I agreed to be her sherpa, as @courosa put it.

It was crazy good to get out of the apartment for more than just work.

Since I took on sobriety, I have rarely left the house for much more than short forays out with the Palinode and maybe a handful of friends. I still feel like I'm on shaky ground. I haven't quite learned to trust myself yet when it comes to alcohol, what with its being everywhere all the time and looking so cold and tasty.

No, wait. That's not quite right. I have a lot of trust in my ability to stick it out when it's hard to say no, because I really get deep down into my core how important saying no is to my very life. I am just not comfortable with feeling that strong urge, that need, when I am out alone in the world. I still feel new and shaky, a little wobbly on my gams. I'm learning to be okay with vulnerability.

Hard decisions are hard.


I wasn't going to talk about sobriety today, but it keeps coming up in my mind over the last while. It's been an incredibly powerful force for me. It is an incredibly powerful force for me, and I am only just breaking through the surface of what it means in my life. I'm 38 years old, and I don't think I spent an entire week sober from the age of 15 until last August.

I shouldn't avoid talking about the power of learning how to be present in my own life. I am learning how to be here as I am, and there is nothing frivolous in that.


Anyway, the point of this whole thing was supposed to be that I hung out with Shanan and talked about taking iPhone pictures this afternoon, which is one of my favourite subjects, and I was going to tell you that she manages to take some pretty stunning shots of coffee mugs.

Sometimes, though, I don't get to choose the points of things.

Grace in Small Things: Sunday Edition #52

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