Good Morning, Mississippi!

So, I've flown down to the southern United States. Don't ask me why, because, frankly, I don't know. It seemed like the right thing to do.

crazy planet

I'm hanging out with some delicious ladies of the internet — Deb, Jett, and eventually Laurie, whenever she gets here — enjoying Secret Location, Mississippi. The first three of us just arrived in the middle of the night last night, so mostly my trip has consisted of flight delays and cancellations, finding a new friend in my airport buddy, Helen, and eating at this Canadian's first IHOP.

First lesson of this trip: don't look at the napkin you use to wipe up spilled water on a United Airlines airplane seat, because, before you know it, you will be wondering just how much fecal matter is coating the entire inside of the little metal tube you're presently trapped inside.

This is what comes off a United Airlines seat if it gets wet. Gross.

If you're lucky, though, you'll have a Helen, the nicest 85-year-old with which to spend hours weathering sitting on the runway, flight cancellation, and giant deli sandwiches.

Helen

Tittie bar!

Wesley's Boobie Trap

They're hiring, FYI.

I'll have to leave off at the tittie bar, though, because I have to shower 18 hours of travel grunge off myself. The inside of my mouth tasted like the wrong end of this thing:

mule deer?

Good morning!