25 Things I Fear, In No Particular Order

When I have a cold, such as the one that is currently visiting great pain upon me, I tend to become moody and anxious, and so I have spent the majority of the day mooning about in bed, certain that I am unloved, unlovable, and teetering on the brink of an early death.

You only wish you could hang out with me right now.

I decided to while away the afternoon and evening by engaging in totally positive and absolutely not obsessive behaviour: I made a list of a few of my many fears.


25 Things I Fear, In No Particular Order
  1. Horses and their giant people teeth
  2. Breaking a more major bone, like my femur
  3. Opening closed closets
  4. The toaster
  5. My cats, when they creep around the house late at night and I feel estranged from them
  6. That I will catch a case of crabs from pants in a clothing store when I try them on
  7. That someone will break into the apartment while I'm in the shower and attack me when I'm wet and naked, because being wet makes the whole thing worse somehow
  8. That one of my old acquaintances with whom I do not want to reacquaint will track me down out of curiosity, and I will have to interact with them
  9. That I will stub my toe again on that piece of metal that separates the hallway from the kitchen
  10. That I will never live up to my potential
  11. That when I step off the corner to cross the street in winter, I will slip on the ice and slide under the vehicle waiting from me to cross, and then that vehicle will drive over my body without even knowing that I am there
  12. That science will discover that our sense of self-will is false and that we are nothing more than bodies acting out their nature without true consciousness
  13. Children older than three and younger than fifteen
  14. Eating strange meat
  15. Food cooked inside plastic packaging
  16. That they will turn off the internet one day
  17. Bees, hornets, wasps, and spiders that bite
  18. That something really stupid will kill me by surprise, like that guy my father knew who died on the golf course after he sneezed and threw a bone out in his neck
  19. Fundamentalism
  20. That the woman who lives upstairs will fall through my ceiling while sitting in her bathtub like in that advertisement for the Terry's Chocolate Orange
  21. That I will eat a new food one day, and I will suffer a fatal allergic reaction
  22. Hyper feminine women
  23. That someone will accuse me of stealing in a store or at work, even though that is something I would never do
  24. Living things crawling into my ears or up into my sinuses and dying there
  25. Falling off a chair or ladder while alone at home
What do you fear? Pony those babies up, people. If you love me.


PS.  Take a look at my late night writing buddies.

The Kitzen Katzens

Grocery Store Alienation