Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

Bravely Hiding

So, my 20th high school reunion is this weekend.

I'm not going.

There are reasons for my not going quite aside from the fact that I feel all conflicted, going-to-the-dentisty about it.

It's not because any of my classmates were evil to me. They were all pretty decent people. I was lucky that way.

I just didn't really enjoy the first 21 years of my life. I was depressive and moody and sad and anxious a good portion of the time, and I felt like I was one huge bruise that life kept poking with a stick.

stupid stick

It doesn't occur to me to wax nostalgic about my younger years. In fact, revisiting memories of my early life is usually downright undesirable.

I wasn't beaten. I lived in middle class suburbia. I had shoes. I actually did have to walk uphill both ways to and from school, but I lived. Regardless, most things from those years are just boldly coloured over with an unnameable but pervasive heaviness.

So, I'm choosing not to look directly at it right now.

I'm such a sunny peach, ain't I?

Who wants ice cream?

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