Won't Anyone Think Of The Trees?!

Palinode: They're cutting down trees all along one side of the park downtown.

Schmutzie: Why would they do that? That's terrible.

Aidan's photo of tree devastation downtown

Palinode: It probably has something to do with making downtown beautiful.

Schmutzie: And they probably want to cut down on the drug dealers and outdoor sex. Foliage promotes that sort of thing.

Palinode: Want to know what's really strange, though?

Schmutzie: What?

Palinode: They've wrapped the trees they don't want cut down in slabs of wood.

Schmutzie: [silence in the form of a question]

Palinode: They've wrapped the trees they don't want to kill in the bodies of other dead trees. That's like wrapping people whose lives you're trying to save in cadavers. "No, don't kill that person, Ed. He's been wrapped in a corpse."

Schmutzie: Oh my god. That's awful.

Palinode: Yes, it is. It really is.