Oh My Achin' Heck

I have been sick for weeks. I've been sick for so long now that I've lost track of how many weeks it's been.

Let's say that it's been four weeks. Let's say that I got what seemed like a mild to medium weight flu about four weeks ago. That sounds right. It wasn't terrible, but it was bad enough that I took medication to get me through, because I have many things to get done and hate lying around in bed watching the backlog pile up.

This was stupid, because I did not sleep enough or rest enough or eat enough oranges and garlic to fight this thing off, which just opened me up to accept any and all viruses attached to the riff raff who litter the streets and public spaces of my fair city. It was also stupid, because I was one of the riff raff out on the streets spreading my viral filth, which means that I may have infected this poor friend of mine, Jason, with whom I had a drink the other afternoon:

Jason

On top of the flu and, now, the cold I've contracted, my back went out about a week or so ago, which caused a chain reaction of muscle spasms that have turned my back into a hard string of knots. The only thing that seems to work well for both the pain and the muscle tension is alcohol, but since I can't stay drunk for an entire week and keep my respective jobs, I have had to settle for off-brand muscle relaxants and cold medication.

beer

So far, I've succeeded at being able to handle holding up my own head for a full two hours at a time!

My month-long exhaustion and grossly chapped lips are evident now even after my cartoonification:

me

I FEEL FANTASTIC.

Send help.

(sniffle.) (snork.) (gulp.) (uuuuuncle.)

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The above pictures were taken with my iPhone using the ToonPAINT app.