Infinite Summer, A Sushi Spectacular, Reality Television, And Jeans Caliente

First: I have decided to take part in Infinite Summer, a reading of David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest that starts on June 21st and ends on September 22nd. I have had a beast of a time sticking it out to the end of any book in the last several years, so reading one thousand pages from one tome is either going to be an exercise in stick-to-it-iveness or an exercise in self-flagellation. Let's hope my better half wins.

Second: The Palinode and I are going out for all-you-can-eat sushi in half an hour with Saviabella and Superstar, and I cannot believe how much I have been looking forward to this all day. I've rationed out minimal portions of food, just enough to keep myself going really, so that I can absolutely gorge myself on seaweed, salmon, tuna, avocado, rice, gyoza, and miso soup. I don't plan on leaving until salmon starts extruding itself through my nostrils. You are so envious that the Palinode gets to be married to me and not you.

Third: I've never been a fan of the genre that is reality television, but I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here has had it's teeth in me until tonight. Janice Dickinson is such a freaking nutbar. I can't even figure out how her brain works at all. Every time she opens her mouth to speak, all these words come out that barely relate to the reality everyone else is experiencing. Also? She is the most disgusting person to watch eat. She just jams food into her gob and smacks away like an old bovine. Just this second, though, I found out that I am once again free from the clutches of reality television. They just voted Janice Dickinson off the show. I'm gonna miss her. I think she's been body-snatched.

Fourth: Last night, I dreamed that I was lost in a college dorm where there was apparently some heavy partying going on. I had nearly found a way out through the hallways crowded with falling down drunk frat boys when I accidentally rolled a miniature bee between my fingers and experienced my first bee sting. Within moments, I became disoriented, and I realized that the college kids weren't drinking. They had all been stung and were suffering the toxic effects. I knew that I needed to get help in case these stings were deadly, but I really had to pee, so I tried to use the one available bathroom. The toilets were clogged and overflowing, rendering them completely unusable. The next thing I knew, a giant Ugandan mountain gorilla had grabbed me and dragged me down the hall where he threw me into a dark closet with a communal crap bucket in it. I decided that there was no way in hell I was going to use a communal crap bucket in a dark closet with a bunch of fucked up college kids, even if a giant Ugandan mountain gorilla wanted me to, so I went to a store and ordered jeans caliente with a twist of lime. They made my butt look awesome.

Five Star Friday's Edition #59

Grace In Small Things: Part 208 of 365