Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

Brazil

I overheard the following conversation at a pub the other night. Three young men were sitting at a neighbouring table, and, judging from their earlier discussion, they were university students. After you read what comes next, this fact might come as a total shock to you. It throws our entire education system into suspicion. And our gene pool.

Man #1: I really want to go to Brazil.

Man #2: Why would you want to go to Brazil? They have the least diverse gene pool in the world. They're, like, all the same. That's why they all look the same.

Man #3: Wait. Aren't there a lot of black people there?

Man #1: Thank you. I was just going to say that. Brazil has more black people than even the United States.

Man #3: Brazil has more black people per capita than anywhere else in the world.

Man #2: What about Africa?

Man #3: If you take South Africa into account, Brazil still wins for having the most black people.

Man #2: You'll find it really difficult to communicate with the people in Brazil if you go there, though.

Man #1: Why is that?

Man #2: They speak a really screwed up form of Spanish down there.

Man #3: Yeah, it's like some kind of dialect the escaped slaves from the States created.

Man #2: Escaped slaves?

Man #3: Brazil got its black population from slaves who snuck out of the United States. That's why they're so culturally diverse. They're genetically programmed to be free thinkers.

Man #2: So, why would you want to go to Brazil?

Man #1: All the women get plastic surgery there, and they look really hot in bikinis.

Man #2: [nodding knowingly] Right. You should totally go to Brazil.

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UPDATE: I had this strong urge to just let my head fall into the table in front of me, because I obviously didn't need it anymore, what with my brains having all turned to pudding, but then an acquaintance showed up in his newly acquired leather vest, pants, and harness, and the three Man's complimented him and shook his hand rather than beat him up, and I pretty much can't hate people who take hardcore leather gear in an Irish pub in stride, so I kept my head where it was, and my brains mostly put themselves back together.

Second Thaw

Grace In Small Things: Part 135 of 365