I Made A New Masthead For DebontheRocks.com

debontherocks.com masthead

I made this!

Deb asked me if I would create a new masthead for her website Deb on the Rocks, and I was thrilled that she wanted my services, because Deb is one smart, hip woman. I had no choice but to say yes, and so I set to work cutting and pasting and drawing and worrying, because do I ever worry over one pixel this way or that and whether people will like what I make and the possibility that I might be way off the mark, and I came up with Ellen DeGeneres, the Dalai Lama, Sean Penn, a unicorn, the baby Jesus, Barack Obama, Deb's dog, and Madonna being tossed in the waves from Rowinda's boat. I pretty much had to get drunk before I sent her what I came up with, because this worrier likes to think that the whole world will crumble in around her head if absolute perfection has not been achieved, but Deb loved it and even used the words "design intuitive" to describe my work, which I think means that she wants to make out with me and commit to some heavy petting.

"Heavy petting", by the way, makes me remember those signs that were always up at public pools when I was a kid. The signs had lists of things you weren't supposed to do at the pool with line drawings showing the consequences of the bad behaviour. "No running" had a picture of a guy slipping and falling on the deck. "No food or drink" showed someone spilling a drink into the pool. "No heavy petting", though, just showed a girl and a boy sitting really close and making out. The consequences of this thing called "heavy petting" looked fairly decent to me and pretty much made me want to find out what heavy petting was and get right on it, but I didn't, which was good, because I was a late bloomer, and I also had weird sexual tastes as a kid. Other girls looked at cute boys around our age, but I was more interested in the dykey lifeguard with the smoker's wrinkles or the weird kid who played with the tap behind the changing hut rather than swim or the squeaky sound the styrofoam lifesaving buoys made when they hit the rubbery pool edge.

So, go pay Deb on the Rocks a visit and see the masthead I made in its new environment. Plus, like I said, she is one smart, hip woman. You'll like her.

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