Women Drivers Don't Go Eeeeeee!

When it is -47°C/-52.7°F with the wind chill, one does not take one's life in one's hands and attempt to walk to work, so I took a taxi. It sucks up about an hour of my shoe-selling wages, but it's worth it, because I value the integrity of all twenty of my fingers and toes.

Normally, I look forward to a ride in a taxi, because I really like cab drivers. The one I ended up with this afternoon? Not so much.

Cab Driver: [pulled away from my apartment building and around a woman trying to park her car] Know why she was having trouble parking?

Me: No.

CD: She saw me driving near her back end and it scared her. Women drivers. [snorted]

Me: What?

CD: Women drivers. You know. They are scared of everything. [pulled up next to a bus to stop at a red light] Some of 'em won't even drive up next to a bus or a semi. They see how big it is and go eeeeeee!. [waved hands next to head in order to imitate the stereotype of a frightened girl]

Me: Really.

CD: I don't know how women deal with it if they get into a scary situation. They're too busy being scared to react properly. That young woman who got into that accident a couple of days ago? She shouldn't have been on the road.

I kind of really wanted to reach over the back of his seat and yank out a fistful of his hair.

Me: Statistically speaking, women get into fewer accidents than men.

CD: That may be, but they probably die in the ones they do get into.

At first, I couldn't figure out why the cab driver thought I would want to hear his assertion that some people are innately bad at something because they have vaginas, but then it hit me. My hair is really short, and the cab driver hadn't turned around to look at me closely when I got in the cab. He thought he was talking to another man.

Me: I'm a woman you know.

CD: Huh?

Me: I'm a woman, and I don't go eeeeeee! when I drive by a city bus.

CD: I'm sure you're a good driver. [cleared his throat] I meant young drivers. Young drivers don't have much experience.

Me: Uh huh.

CD: Are you going Christmas shopping?

And then I crammed the garter he had hanging from the rear view mirror down his throat, and he said eeeeeee!.

The End.

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