A Pain In My Butt
Schmutzie: [in the process of sitting down and grimacing] "Ow! My god but that hurts."
Palinode: "What hurts?"
Schmutzie: "My butt."
Palinode: "Your butt?" [chuckles behind a barely concealed smirk]
Schmutzie: "Yes, my butt. It's not funny. It really does hurt."
Palinode: [grinning] "What do you think happened to your butt?"
Schmutzie: "I think I was clenching it a lot yesterday."
Palinode: [a snort escapes his nose] "You were clenching it?"
Schmutzie: "Yes. I've been tense lately, and I was really tense yesterday in particular."
Palinode: "Are you saying that you're carrying your tension in your butt?"
Schmutzie: [sighs] "That's right. I'm carrying my tension in my butt."
Palinode: "You should do something about that butt-clenching tension of yours." [snickers]
Schmutzie: "That's right. My butt pain is hilarious. I can't even sit down on the hard toilet seat today, but it's hilarious."
Palinode: "I can rub it for you." [still grinning]
Schmutzie: "I'm sure you could, but no thank you. I don't think so." [gets up and walks stiffly across the living room]
Palinode: "There's one good thing that's coming from this."
Schmutzie: "Yeah? What's that?"
Palinode: "Now I know what you'll look like walking when you're really old."
Really, though, my butt is killing me. I have had to remain in a semi-reclined position for most of the day, because I can't sit directly on it. I EVEN TOOK MUSCLE RELAXANTS FOR MY BUTT. I am kind of missing the days when I carried my tension in my back like a normal person.