Do you know what's awesome? You can lie around in bed all day with your plaid adult version of a child's security blanket, consuming Doritos and crunchy coffee from a three-day-old mug, and your cats will have no idea that you are completely pathetic and probably undermedicated.
I have three of these furry little buggers, and each of them is under the impression that I am here solely to take all the cuddling they can possibly press upon me.
Of course, this may have something to do with my having forgotten to fill their food bowls, and I am particularly salty from sitting around in a hot apartment with no air conditioning. They probably think that my tears are the gravy to top off my fleshy deliciousness.
Still, I prefer to think that they love me unerringly and are doing all they can to support me through my time of woe.
kitten of the Wonder Cuddle,
you grace my lap on grim days
and smell far less than the other cats,
even if you do occasionally blurt noxious farts.
I'd probably stop throwing you to the floor
if the weather weren't so hot,
but, as it stands,
you do nothing but turn me into a wet puddle
and scratch my arm twaddle for milk.