Not So Good Vibrations

The Palinode and I wake up in bed and rub our eyes. I look over at the Palinode.

Schmutzie: Hon, you look terrible.

Palinode: I feel horrible. I didn't sleep much last night.

Schmutzie: How come?

Palinode: It was really weird. The building kept vibrating off and on.

Schmutzie: Really? The building was vibrating? Huh. That's weird, because I slept well all night.

Palinode: Yeah. I thought the upstairs neighbours might have some kind of machine running, but the vibrating only happened once in a while, so I can't figure out how the building kept vibrating like that.

The Palinode gets up to go to the bathroom. I move to sit up and realize that I am lying on top of something. I pull a vibrator out from under the covers and slide it into the drawer in my night table.

Schmutzie: [calling down the hall] Strange. I can't imagine what caused the building to vibrate.

What I cannot figure out is how I managed to sleep through the night when my right butt cheek kept dialling up the vibration on a sex toy every time I rolled over. You would think that if anyone was going to have their sleep disrupted by the so-called "vibrating building", it would have been me.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to run. I am low on batteries.