Who Said I Could Have Krazy Glue?
Who said I could have Krazy Glue? Well, I did, of course, because I am an adult after all, but, as an adult, I should have better sense by now than to let myself use Krazy Glue.
There were six commas in that last sentence. No, I will not change it. I am actually kind of fascinated with my ability to bandy about commas to the tune of one comma for every 4.67 words. I am sure that I could inflict far more comma-heaviness on you, but this is not about commas. This is about Krazy Glue.
I own a bracelet that has these smooth red stones framed in silver. When I arrived at work the other day, one of the stones had fallen out of one of the frames, which I simply could not abide. Since I had bought the bracelet off a table from a vendor that was travelling through town, I could not take it back for replacement, so I decided that I would fix it myself and went out and bought some Krazy Glue over my lunch hour.
It started out well enough, as all matters with Krazy Glue start out. I had something that was broken, I wanted that something fixed, and I had the means to fix that something within approximately ten seconds. It all just seems so delightfully simple.
I always seem to forget the time that time I glued myself to a tacky Christmas ornament at work in July and spent two hours trying to help customers without letting on that my right-handed self had a ceramic puppy driving a choo-choo train glued to her right hand.
So, I was perturbed with myself when, twelve seconds after I had applied the glue, I realized that my bracelet was glued to my desk by the smallest stone with the most delicate links.
Did I mention that other time when my thumb and forefinger were glued together? No? Well, I did that once, too. And then there was that time when my thumb was briefly stuck to my forehead between my eyebrows. That was one of the few times in my life when I was truly thankful for my greasy complexion.
The bracelet eventually did come loose from my desk, and I wisely left the tube of Krazy Glue away from myself at work so that I do not get it into my fool head to start gluing things together around the apartment. In my attempt to remove the jewellery from the desk, however, I also nearly went the extra step of then gluing myself to the bracelet, so I think that it is safe to say that my Krazy Glue rights are hereby suspended.