This is Ralphie the Dead Kitty.
I taught myself how to do this simple spiral crochet thing over the last couple of weeks. I am probably doing all wrong, because I started by trying to follow the directions, but directions are tiresome and boring, and they don't feed my need to screw the rules and go my own way.
I am calling this thing I have half made up "structural crochet". Give me a second. I'm going to google that and see if it's a thing.
So, I just kept going around in circles, skipping loops and making extra loops, and I figured out that it wouldn't be too far a reach to build something recognizable.
Enter the beginning of Ralphie the Dead Kitty. Last week, I started out with the intention to turn him into an evil bunny, but, somehow, he just wasn't an evil bunny. He was a dead cat. Obviously.
I have been using crochet to keep my brain occupied through stretches of anxiety that I've been weathering lately. It works wonders. The only things that run through my mind when I'm crocheting are loop, hook, loop, hook, loop, hook, loop, hook.
Ralphie the Dead Kitty has a butthole! That detail is the Palinode's fault. "That dead cat needs a butthole," he said, and I had to comply. Obviously.
Onion the Alive Kitty is not so fond of Ralphie the Dead Kitty. Onion is a snob when it comes to the dead, like being alive is the be all and all. Gawd.
Unfortunately, I have to say goodbye to Ralphie the Dead Kitty next week. The first person who saw him bought him. I'm a crochet slut.