I have no photographs to show you.
I thought that I should have at least some, because photography is one of my Things, and it was the holiday season, but, nope, there are no new ones sitting inside my camera's memory card. I did not take a camera out to a single Christmas or New Years event.
I did, however, buy a $30 tripod that extends to 57 inches tall and spend over $100 on Polaroid film that may or may not work for my Holga Polaroid back that the Palinode gave me a year ago. Later today, I plan on setting up my camera and tripod, rigging up a bristle board backdrop, and using dental floss and maybe some blue wax as props. Depending on the outcome, you may or may not see the results before spring.
I seem to have become a very slow, dawdling thing.
If you are wondering where all this scintillating prose is coming from, I will tell you: I am allergic to my office, and this is my first day back to do battle with the mass swelling it causes to take place inside my face. I believe it puts pressure on my frontal lobe and renders me several degrees more stupid than I normally appear. I be so smrt.
In lieu of an actual photograph, I drew a picture of my present self in MS Paint.
I woke up to get ready for work this morning after having been on holiday since the 21st of December, and this is more or less what greeted me in the bathroom mirror. Several new chin whiskers, an overnight moustachio, and five new zits in festive colours ornamented my face. It is Hormones Gone Wild today. I keep having to remind a couple of the pimples to keep their shirts on and, for gawd's sake, to go put on brassieres already. They have made a moveable feast of Mardi Gras, and I cannot wait for them all to sober up and go home.
Not to worry, though. I have chemicalled, plucked, masked, and powdered my visage into a semblance of decency. It was a little touch and go for a while there, but it's all been coaxed into good behaviour for the time being.
I can feel your immense relief emanating from the ether. You deserve a treat. Watch "Christopher Crumpet", a classic UPA cartoon from Columbia Pictures circa 1953.
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