I Have A Rubber Cock And A New Hobby

rubber rooster

This is Harlan. He arrived the other day to squeeze water out of his butt in my bathtub. I know. The nerve of him. Thankfully, he was fairly polite about his inquiry, and I was able to avoid having an awkward conversation with him by explaining that I am not allowed to soak my post-hysterectomy self in the bath for another three-and-a-half weeks. He has agreed to live inside my typewriter until such a point as I can bathe again or we have become more adequately acquainted. Such tub antics take a certain degree of familiarity for me.

I am going stir crazy in this apartment. It is over 40°C outside with the humidex, my gut hurts when I sit and stand and lie down, my butt has grown numb from pressure-induced blood loss, and I am sick of the cats milling about and trying to bite all the flowers that have been sent on account of my uterus being cut to smithereens and suctioned out into a bucket. This is only my fourth day of recuperation, and already I am going on with the woe-is-me and the boredom-is-a-suckass-luxury. I should get a new hobby.

Guess what? I just found one! I'm not kidding. I wrote that paragraph, got up from my chair, and started a new hobby. Here it is:

My Spiritual Uterus: An Introduction

my spiritual uterus 1
my spiritual uterus 2

(Thanks to Dana of Miserable Bliss for the thumbprint inspiration.)

New hobby = public therapy through thumbprints. I don't think that I am even one full step away from acting out my issues with puppets.

So, what have you been up to lately? Done anything new?