Due to post-surgical brain suckage, I have required some guidance to get me through, and so I took the plunge and asked for your help. You gave it, and I am grateful, because it has seriously taken me ten minutes just to write these two opening sentences without someone telling me what should be in them. To read the answers to the previous ten questions, check out "Your Questions Answered, 1 to 10".
(If I have not linked to certain of the questioners, it is because they either provided no link to a website or have not yet elected to publicly share their Blogger profile, thereby cutting me off from finding their website address.)
- Kelliqua asks: Where do you buy your eggs?
I tend to buy my eggs at the Safeway, but I much prefer the farm eggs from the local organic food store.
- Srah asks: Who's your favorite Bluth and why?
"Arrested Development" never ceases to please even though I have seen every episode more than once. My favourite member of the Bluth family is Tony Hale's character, Byron "Buster" Bluth. He constantly looks like a beached fish sucking for air. It's endearing.
- Merrily Rolling asked: Are you ever tempted to bid on the auctions that appear at the side of your blog? And, if someone only knew you through your blog and then met you in real life, would they be surprised? In other words, are you the same in print as you are in life? What's different? What's the same?
I have been tempted to bid on a few of the items, especially when good yarn pops up, but my limited experience with eBay has taught me that I must stay far away from it lest I find myself rabidly watching the time tick down on auctions for items I have no business buying, like porcelain Avon figurines from the 1970s.
Now to tackle the more difficult string of questions about how I present myself online. I like to think that I and my online voice are fairly fluid, but then this is probably like how you can't really smell your own stench, so I asked both the Palinode and Abigail what they thought, and they each said that I am pretty much the same both on- and offline. Of course, in real life I am caught eating chicken wings and drinking beer more often, but those are minor technicalities. I don't think anyone who reads this website would be surprised by what they found if they met me.
- Snafu Suz asks: Are you done now or are you going to have to do chemo? Will you do more thumbprint cartoons?
As far as I know, it is unlikely that I would have to do any chemotherapy. I am still waiting on the pathology report, but barring the unexpected, this hysterectomy should be the end of my cancer treatment. I lucked out with wussiest variety of cancer.
I will definitely be doing more thumbprint cartoons, but I need more stamp pad ink before I do, and I can't exactly hop up to get some right now.
- That Girl Who Blogs Stuff asks: I can't imagine being told I have cancer and not looking at my life differently. How's life on the other side of surgery? What is your favorite smell? What is the earliest odd thing you can remember happening to you? What is your favourite sketch/character from Sesame Street?
So far, my post-surgery life is a complete blur. I am so busy healing that I don't think there is any juice left for things like understanding what has just happened to me. As a result, life on the other side of surgery is filled with television and long naps.
My favourite smell is the way my maternal grandfather's pillow smelled after my grandparents would stay overnight when I was a kid. It smelled like a mix of ironed linen and Old Spice.
The earliest odd thing that happened to me was when I two years old. My mother made me toast and was trying to rush me into eating it before we went out shopping. Being two, I dawdled over my plate, and she took it away. When we arrived home from our trip, I saw the edge of the plate sticking out over the edge of the counter, and I reached up to grab the toast I knew was still on it. I recoiled in horror when my hand met the cold, hard, rough thing on the plate. What had happened?! It had changed. I guess when you are two years old, you haven't yet mastered the concept that things change as time passes. It completely undid my little toddler brain, which culminated in a teary fit.
My favourite character was the little cartoon girl who splashed around in a puddle and said Wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh Wilhelmina!
- Anonymous asks: Did you know Michigan is considered the best line of defense in case of invasion from the Canadians?
You know, I had no idea, but now that I do, I am going to have revise my plans. Thanks for the heads up.
- Nancy asks: What are the ten most embarrassing things to ever happen to you?
You want me to list ten whole things? TEN? That's a tall order, not because I don't have myriad events to draw from, but because I tend to be a little scattered on the pain medication, and you want me to count to ten. This could take me a while. Let's see.
- There was that time in grade four when I forgot to wear a shirt to school and didn't notice until I had taken my coat off in front of half of my classmates. One kid pointed at my pasty chest and giggled out Nipples!.
- Then there was that time when I forgot to wear a shirt to university and didn't notice until I started taking my coat off in History Of The Americas. The person sitting next to me whispered You might not want to do that and pointed at the white skin I was revealing, and although I wanted to disappear, I was glad that the nipples hadn't come out that time.
- Then there was that time when I forgot to wear a shirt to work and didn't notice until I was just about to unzip my coat and felt the cold zipper against my stomach. I went home glad that I was at least showing less skin each time this happened to me.
- The entire several months that the Palinode and I dated, I had this acrid gas born of my nervousness. It was remarkable.
- I was caught stealing from my school in grade two and had to confess to my mother that I had hidden everything in a box in my closet.
- I was running anchor in a relay team at my first track meet in grade five, and for some reason I lost all bladder control and peed in my shorts while I raced around the track.
- One time, I was in my cubicle at work with my hand down the back of pants doing an extremely necessary thong adjustment, and a co-worker walked into my cubicle. I pretended that I was merely rubbing my lower back, but I think she knew exactly what I was up to.
- During my first day living in Cityville, I was crossing the street downtown and suddenly fell down for no reason in the middle of the intersection. This tiny, old lady helped me up and escorted me the rest of the way across the street in front of eight lanes of noon hour traffic.
- When I was eighteen, I got a summer job picking saskatoon berries that paid by the pound. I was an atrociously bad berry picker. On my second day, they fired me and sent me home stained purple with a cheque for $6.96. I wouldn't even tell my parents how small that cheque was.
- When I was twenty-four and a little unstable following the end of a long relationship, I cut my hair with pinking shears while I watched "Empire Records" on television. That's right. I chose to cut my hair with pinking shears while watching a movie. As you can guess, it turned out horribly, especially after I accidentally cut a chunk right down to my scalp in the middle above my forehead. I had to shave my whole head down with a razor and looked positively freakish for two months. My head is a touch too large and pasty to pull off fully bald.
Phew. That took me two freaking days.
My favourite zombie film is "Night of the Living Dead" from 1968. Watch it in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.
My lack of flossing could be the eleventh item on the previous list of embarrassing things. It is terrible. I will be toothless at fifty if I keep this up. Thanks for bringing it up.
If I could go anywhere in the United States that I haven't been, I would go to Hell, Michigan.
If I weren't married to the Palinode, my life would be remarkably different. I would not be living in Cityville or have any of the friends I have here, and I seriously think that I would not be writing as much as I do. Before I married him, I wrote next to nothing. He is a great inspiration for me.
It is completely possible to keep your ovaries and not your uterus. The ovaries do not need the uterus to function and are barely even attached to it. For more information about hysterectomies and the various types, go to Women's Health Queensland Wide.
Keeping my ovaries does keep me from going through premature menopause, which I am thankful for. I would rather not have to worry about osteoporosis and hot flashes for a couple of decades yet.
I almost always smile back when someone I don't know smiles at me in the street, unless they are one of the known local crazies or they accompany the smile with the full body lookover. And I do always wonder why they smiled at me. Do I look like a nice person or something?
Stay tuned for tomorrow's installment! It's a thrillride of useless information! I can't even remember writing most of it!
UPDATE: I am not taking any more questions at the moment. Thanks for playing!