#741: Baby Got A New Pair Of Shoes

Look, I've got lots of preparations to make before this whole hysterectomy thing goes down on July the 3rd and my recuperation begins. Today alone I bought curtain rods, washed our curtains, ironed them, and hung the curtain rods and curtains in the living room. I moved a queen size mattress and non-collapsible bedframe into the living room, and I moved a cumbersome sofa into the bedroom. I drank a beer. I patted myself on the back for being able to move all that furniture all by myself when I haven't worked out since 1989.

In the coming two days, I am doing about six more loads of laundry, cleaning the apartment top to bottom, drinking a beer or two, buying groceries, and attending my pre-op bloodletting-and-scary-facts session before heading to Cosmopolis to see the great Cosmopolians before heading back here to meet my fate.

I'm nesting. Does anybody have an elevated toilet seat to complete the task?

Man, is this ever stimulating. You're doing laundry? You don't say? That's faskinatin'. Tell me, do you also eat food and sleep? Faskinatin', indeed.

I did get a new pair of shoes, though, and not everyone can do that. Some people are too poor for shoes. Some people are in comas. Some people don't even have feet. In my less tragic life, I am able to purchase for myself fancy schmancy rubber shoes. Here they are on the veiny feet of one Schmutzie who took so fecking long with the photograph that the blood pooled in her extremities. C'est très sexy.

the least ugly of the Crocs world on the floor


I got wise and lied on my back with my feets in the air. Nice, no?

the least ugly of the Crocs world in the air


What is truly sad is that after all my heavy furniture moving, I got all cricky, and now I won't be walking to very many places in them until I uncrick. I am consoling myself with wonton soup on my living room bed. And my curtains smell nice. Like Tide. And that rolled right pantleg picture above? That was for the photo only. I am not yet so old that I must wear my trousers rolled. Or something like that.*

* Despite my having shown you Crocs and mentioned Tide, I was not asked to endorse either product. Why I am telling you this is unclear to me, but I felt I should. There.