Spousal Abuse For The Price Of A Kiss, A Lesson In Lying, Circles, And Not Getting Felt Up

Schmutzie leans against the Palinode and kisses his ear.

Palinode: If you don't do that again right away, I can't be held responsible for my actions.

After a few long moments, Schmutzie, ever accommodating to the Palinode's whims, even when she knows that it's a set-up, leans in and kisses his ear a second time.

Palinode: Oh, thank you. Now I can be responsible for all my actions.

The Palinode hits Schmutzie in the leg.

Schmutzie: Hey!

Palinode: I'm sorry. That was all my fault.

The Palinode flicks Schmutzie in the arm.

Schmutzie: What the hell!

Palinode: That was my fault, too.

Schmutzie: That's the most retarded thing I ever heard.

The Palinode hits Schmutzie in the leg again.

Palinode: I am completely responsible for that, too.

Schmutzie is laughing too hard to swear at him.

...

Palinode: How did writing that conversation go?

Schmutzie: Fine. I'm just letting it sit for a bit before I make some edits.

Palinode: You can't edit it.

Schmutzie: Why?

Palinode: That would make it a lie.

Schmutzie: How's that?

Palinode: Well, you would be changing it, and that's lying.

Schmutzie: So, when you write, don't you edit as you go? Or do you only write stream of consciousness?

The Palinode nods his head in a strong affirmative.

Palinode: Stream of consciousness.

Schmutzie: Aren't you thinking while you're talking now? And isn't that like editing? You'd have to speak stream of consciousness all day to keep from lying.

Palinode: I do.

The Palinode proceeds to make indecipherable muttering sounds.

...

The Palinode points at the top of his coffee mug.

Palinode: Look, it's a circle.

Schmutzie: Yes, it is.

Palinode: Do you think that it was manufactured to be circular, or did they just put a circle on top of it when they were done?

Schmutzie: You're stupid.

...

Schmutzie: That breeze from the window feels so nice on my skin.

Palinode: No, it doesn't. That's me feeling you up.

Schmutzie: You're not feeling me up.

Palinode: Yeah, and I don't know why not.