Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

The Fiery One's Almost Home, A Very Bad Science Fiction Idea, And Maria

I am so freaking thrilled that the Fiery One is coming home tomorrow night. He will have been gone for twenty-one days straight, which is entirely too long for two people who like each other as much as we do to be apart. He is getting home around midnight, so he has promised to wake me up for some good old, sanctioned-by-God marital relations when he arrives. Yum.

A-hem. Sorry, but it has been twenty days so far.

(Did I mention that our marriage was sanctioned by God? Because it is officially, or rather the couple who oversaw the proceedings were people of God, and they officiated. Does our being completely heathen mean that our marriage is not God-sanctioned and that our having sex is just as nasty and immoral as it was before we got married? Ooh, I think I kind of like that idea. The hell part's not so great, mind you, but nasty immorality has its perks).

May I remind you - twenty days - it's been very hard on me.

Anyway, I am all overexcited about it, and I feel like I have a million things to do before his arrival. He probably won't even have to wake me up tomorrow night, because I will still be awake bleaching the orange spots of bunny pee out of our white living room carpet or ferreting out the bizarre bits of garbage from dark corners (like the used condom I found at the foot of our futon in the living room - thank the powers that be that people almost never, if ever, come over to hang out in our apartment).

Oh, yes, and that birthday project I am working on. His birthday isn't until Friday, but I have to have the thing done by tomorrow night on top of all the housecleaning. We have a very small apartment, and he would totally know what I was up to if he caught me with glue stuck all over my hands and red and orange paint daubs splodged on my knees. He would probably notice the project I was working on, too, and that would spoil the whole surprise.


Here is a really bad starter idea for a science fiction story born out of a lack of enough to do on this, the fourth last day of my present job:

Imagine, if you will, that we discover that, as human beings, we have been genetically engineered by an outside sentient force. We search and search for our ancestors amongst the stars, but find nothing, because we have incorrectly assumed that the aliens were out there. It turns out that we simply weren't looking where we should have been - the world around us. It was the nematodes, the most prolific and pervasive life form on the planet, that created us. With great pride, they have watched us evolve and learn, and now they know that their plan has nearly come to fruition with the human technological advances of the twentieth and early twenty-first centuries. Without the necessary physical characteristics, they knew that they could not travel the universe on their own without the proper tools, and so they created us as their intermediary tools to create the means to their exploration. They are well pleased with their creation and look forward to the next phase of their existence as they spread their kind out across the universe. Glory be to the nematodes, for they are truly great!


Whatever I write here today should really just be disregarded. I am all flighty and twittery with excitement, and my brain simply will not stay in one place but has been straying into senseless territories with abandon. I imagine the nuns from "The Sound of Music" singing: How do you solve a problem like Schmutzie? / How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? / How do you find a word that means Schmutzie? / A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the-wisp! A clown!

Oh, dear me. There goes whatever readership I had managed to drum up. Just trust me that it does get better from here. It does. Honest.


I have added Blogarithm to this site, so if you want to be notified by e-mail when I update this site, just enter your e-mail address in the box provided following the blog entry. Blogarithm also offers the lovely service of letting you know when the sites you read are updated with a once daily e-mail complete with the necessary links.

Here I am, having been born and raised in a Mennonite community (not on a colony but in liberal society like the rest of you (I was never baptized in, by the way)), and I never knew that this online paper existed to inform me about such things as “Amish in the City”, a proposed reality television show.

Michael Moore is being attacked by a small group of Canadians who are trying to use Part 11, Division 9, Section 331 of the Canada Elections Act to have him charged for disrupting our electoral process. (found via Bacon and Eh’s)

Oh, for the love of lists – I Own These!

Time Goes By comes from an older blogger out of New York City, Ronni Bennett. She’s quite good, I must say.

Meepful is delightful.

So is Lovejunky.

And, did I ever tell all of you to read Jonquill?

Don’t smoke in an outhouse.

Stephen Hawking is revising his black hole theory.

The archdiocese of Portland, Oregon is filing for bankruptcy due to the costs from clergy sex abuse law suits.

Selma

The Beginnings Of An Aesthetically Offensive Monstrosity And The Ceiling's Falling! The Ceiling's Falling!