Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

Amelia Rocks And Volkman

Okay, I haven’t said anything, although it’s obvious as all hell if you’ve been here before. I have a new template. I quite like it, but you may not. Let me know if anything’s not working, even aesthetically, because I’m trying to find one I can settle into for a while. Thanks if you say something, and if you don’t, well, I never asked you to care.


You won’t believe what happened today. I pooped. No, really, I did. I can’t even remember how far back I would have to go to find the last period of time when I was doing that regularly, that’s how long it’s been.

But more importantly, oh-so-much-more importantly, I get to hang out with this girl tonight. Let’s call her Amelia, as in Amelia Bedelia, and in the fondest of ways. I first met Amelia shortly after moving to Cityville. We were both volunteering at the same Society to Halt Some Horrible Disease. Neither of us has the Horrible Disease, but there we were, fighting the good fight over bad coffee in a small office with a bunch of old ladies.

One night, while we were chattering away by the coffeemaker rather than fulfilling our volunteer duties, trying to fit in as much talking as we could before B, our supervisor, caught us goofing off, Amelia pulled out a little photo album so she could show me pictures of her ex-husband (they’re still good friends) and her silly dog. (I’ve met the dog, and he is really silly. She would agree with me wholeheartedly, I’m sure).

She started pointing out this person and that person, and then it started clicking in my head that these were pictures of people that I had met in Cosmopolis where Amelia had also lived for a time. She went to university with Starcat while he and I were living together. I lived for a month with the singer in her ex-husband’s then band years ago. Hers was a name that I had heard used in conversations with mutual friends and acquaintances. It’s strange that she and I never met when we were in Cosmopolis.

I was terribly thrilled to meet someone in this city that I liked talking to and could foresee a friendship with. I had had a bad friend-turned-stalker issue and was more than a little nervous about finding new social relationships. Also, most of the people that I knew were friends of the Fiery One, which was and still is fine, but I was feeling the need to make my own way as a newly minted wife in a still strange city.

I’m not sure how we came to have a continuing friendship. We probably went about the romancing-the-new-friendship thing the same way most people do by going for coffee, getting drunk together, and talking on the telephone. I do know that it wasn’t hard to do, because we clicked immediately upon meeting each other.

We don’t get to see each other that often, which is too bad. One or the other of us always seems to be sick, working, broke, out of town, or just hiding out. That’s why it was so fucking awesome when I called her up today to ask her if she would meet me after work and she said yes without any hesitation. I actually had to ask her to repeat herself.

The other reason that it’s so fucking awesome that I get to see her this evening is that Amelia is the coolest. She’s crafty and can make these awesome scarves out of fleece that bear a remarkable resemblance to feather boas, that is if feather boas were cool enough to come in something like zebra stripes. Her dog is this huge english sheep dog who looks like a cross between a bath mat and a shetland pony, and he’s totally ridiculous. In between getting bashed around by his bounding doggy happiness, you just want to love him all up. She has a painful condition that requires her to have a hip replacement this upcoming spring, but she doesn’t complain about it or attempt to solicit sympathy ever, (although I wish she didn’t bury it as completely as she does, because I care and I want to know how she’s doing on that front). Also, I think Amelia really likes people, all kinds of people, and since most people seem not to like other humans all that much, I think this is a wonderful and noteworthy attribute.

Yes, so, now that I have introduced you all to the delight that is Amelia, I am off. I have to pick up the Fiery One’s Christmas present before meeting up with her.


It’s much later. This part is just here to drive the Fiery One wild trying to figure out what I got him for Christmas.

I took his present out of its bag a couple of times to show friends and get their opinion on it. Normally, this sort of behaviour would bear out no strange consequences, except that this is my life, so strange consequences should be expected. After handling his present a couple of times, my hands swelled, became terribly hot, and turned a bright shade of red. I had to remove my rings before my fingers grew too fat. I am allergic to his present. Yay.

Oh, yes, and by the way, the Fiery One is incommunicado until Sunday, but he wants you to know that his fingertips are blistering from his burning desire to communicad.


A Light Says Why” by Karen Volkman


A grand hello to Stonebridge.

Read Disco the Kid.

This list of film titles made me snork coffee into my nasal passages. I think my favourite has to be “Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Terror”.

My Date With A Delivery Guy, Dyeing My Hair, And Strand

A Surprisingly Uncrappy Day Full Of Crappiness, A Heartfelt Apology, And Yeats