Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

Things I Got For Christmas (And Some Williams)

Things I got for Christmas:

1. A cherry wood jewellery box that plays "What A Wonderful World" when you lift the lid and wind it up. I have a jewellery box that I, for some reason, have attached a sense of guilt to and have been unable to throw away. It is ugly, mostly broken, and I have had it since the earliest signs of puberty. Mysteriously, receiving this replacement box has relieved me of my obligation to continue owning the old one, and as soon as I arrive back in Cityville, I will dispose of it.

2. The Visconti tarot from the Fiery One. The cards are beautiful and rich-looking with generous gold leaf on every card. I haven't read them yet, because I would like to get the feel of them before I try to do anything with them. Everyone but the naked male cherubs looks peaked and a touch forlorn, which I'm guessing has something to do with life heavily sucking in late-1400s Europe.

3. Two black v-neck tops, one with metal rivets that actually work aesthetically. Most of my wardrobe is black aside from my jeans, and as much I keep promising to branch out into the world of colour, the Universe seems to keep leading me back to the dark side.

4. Also from the Fiery One, I now have a very large ring adorning the third finger on my right hand. It has a silver band that is about half an inch wide, and on top is a large oval labradorite stone with black striations running across it. It's quite lovely and is actually heavy enough to weigh down my finger in a noticeable yet comforting manner.

5. Yellow towels from my maternal grandparents (or was it my paternal grandmother?). These are greatly appreciated, because some nidgit stole some of ours out of the wash in our apartment's communal laundry room. Also, we don't have a whole lot of light-coloured things to wash together, so it can take some to cobble together a load for the washer. The addition of these two towels will help speed up the whole process and decrease the amount of time our light towels and dishrags and whatnot have to molder in the bottom of the laundry hamper.

6. A one hundred dollar bill from my parents-in-law. One hundred dollar bills rock, especially the new Canadian ones that have that cool watermarked portrait that only shows up when you hold them up to the light. I spend most of it already on bras at a 50% off bras sale. That also rocks. I am now the proud owner of three brasieres that actually fit. I'm a whole cup-size bigger than I thought I was and two inches less around. I don't know what my figure's doing, but I'm all for it.

7. An Oral-B ProfessionalCare 5500 toothbrush. No, I'm not getting paid to mention this product. I just truly love my new toothbrush, if one can actually love such an object. It pulverizes my gums into a calloused toughness and fills me with the hope that one day I will be able to handle ice water and saccharine desserts with the gusto of my healthy-gummed youth. Smoking is bad for the gums, and I have done my best to muck them up.

8. A copy of John Waters' "Female Trouble". What can I say about this? It's John Waters. I'm a happy girl. As soon as I get back to Cityville, I'm going to plug this into the machine, make a huge vat of buttery popcorn, and enjoy.



Pythagorus,
in a detail of a painting by Raphael

"Laws of Motion" by Christina Williams


Oh, yeah, and it's my birthday tomorrow. I'm turning old.

My Birthday Came Off Without A Minor Psychological Break, Hoorah

I'm Less Ill And Quite Grateful