Observations And Rilke
I was told by Phoenix Cow last night that my recent entries here have made me sound like I’m kind of a mess. I suppose that I do tend toward the negative sometimes, especially lately with my missing the Fiery One, so I thought I would straighten that out and let you all know that I am not a complete mess all the time. I do enjoy things. I even have happy thoughts occasionally. As proof of that fact, I would like to enter here some of my happier observations:
1. When payday coincides with a Friday at the beginning of a Hallowe’en weekend, my spirits soar. This is good and happy and probably only occurs once in many years.
2. Friday and I are going out for sushi immediately after work, and this also does nothing to dampen my spirits. Raw fish, wasabi, and some Asahi beer (which I think may actually be made in the Czech Republic, but I’m too lazy to investigate that right now) will be a most excellent beginning to what is not only a festive weekend but one that also is…
3. …a weekend at the end of which the Fiery One will arrive home after spending six weeks away on a work trip in Europe! He! Will! Finally! Be! Back! (I promised myself once that I would never do that exclamation point thing, but fuck it, because I’m too excited for proper punctuation to denote). Also, he bought me a present, which I can’t wait to see. I love presents.
4. Tomorrow night is the big night for all the adults to go out in costume and get drunk and disorderly in their bar of choice. (That sentence nearly tripped me up: bar of choices / bars of choices / bars of choice?) Personally, the dressing up for Hallowe’en thing depresses the hell out of me, so I go as myself, but I do love to see what everyone else dresses up as. It’s best I don’t dress up anyway, because the last time I did I went as a used tampon (long johns, red knee socks, a string in my hair – you get the idea).
5. I wish I could have a kitty cat in the apartment building I live in. Suck ass landlord. But the no furry-and-free-roaming-pets rule led to our owning some delightful little finches, which I would not otherwise have done. They peep and chirp, and it is terribly sweet to hear their excited ruckus when I come home and give them fresh seeds and water.
6. I have been listening to Mel Tormé lately. This is Helvetica’s fault. She made me and the partner a mixed cd of party/cleaning-the-house music, and Mel stole my heart. Mel, aka The Velvet Hammer, is the coolest. I have been culling songs from the internet so that I can thoroughly indoctrinate the Fiery One when he gets home. I hope he likes it, or we may be in for some rocky times.
7. Work is nearly over (8 minutes left to go), and my excitement is over the top. My general happiness from yesterday has spilled over into today, and what with it being Friday and payday and Hallowe’en, I am wiggling about in my office chair like a six-year-old waiting for the birthday song to be over so that she can blow out her candles and get on to the presents already.
Time and Again
– Rainer Maria Rilke
TIme and again, however well we know the landscape of love,
and the little church-yard with lamenting names,
and the frightfully silent ravine wherein all the others
end: time and again we go out two together,
under the old trees, lie down again and again
between the flowers, face to face with the sky.