Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who works from Elan.Works, a designer and editor at GenderAvenger, and a speaker who has spoken across North America. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

Quitting Smoking, Whitening, LFHCS, Vatican Insanity, News, Mr. Picassohead, And Tooth Stains

I have quit smoking. I have been working steadily at this habit for well over fifteen years. Friday night was my last night of smoking. I did not know it at the time, but I smoked much and incessantly for hours on end. On Saturday, due to my overindulgence of the night before, I did not even think of smoking. Well, maybe once or twice, but not all that seriously. On Sunday, I thought about how I had been without a cigarette for a day-and-a-half, and I considered quitting. I gave myself until Monday morning to decide. If I wasn’t dying by then, I would give it a good effort. Monday morning rolled around, and I wasn’t feeling too awful. My mind was in obsessive mode, though. Every morning on my way to the bus, I have a smoke. I have it all timed out perfectly so that I can light my cigarette when I leave my building, finish it at the bus stop, and chug some of my thermosed coffee before the bus comes. Not smoking fucks up the whole routine. So, smoking was my first thought upon waking, it wandered in and out of my scattered shower thoughts, it registered a bit when I was checking the weather (I thought about how my fingers would not freeze without having to hold a smoke and then immediately wanted one), and by the time I was brushing my teeth, the thought of that longed-for morning cigarette was constant and nagging loudly. Thankfully, being the creature of habit that I am, almost as soon as I got on the bus, the thought floated away, because I do not associate being on the bus with smoking. Anyway, now it is Tuesday evening, which means that I have almost gone for four whole days without a cigarette. I haven’t even cried yet, which sounds pitiful, but it is my usual reaction to nicotine withdrawal. I am doing not too bad. Today, though, something really, really, sad and a little distressing hit me about this no-smoking thing: I am going to lack for beer in a big, big way. I love beer, and in return, beer is kind to me; cigarettes and beer are nearly inextricably linked together, and the three of us make a happy if not terribly attractive trio. Without the cigarettes, the beer is going to have to do without me for a while. Oh, woe is me. You see, today is Tuesday, as I have already stated, and on Tuesdays I like to go for a pint and write or read for an hour or two. All day this Tuesday ritual kept popping into my brain, and I had to keep wagging my mental tut-tut finger at it and re-explaining why the beer had to be put on an indefinite hiatus until this nicotine/cigarettes thing was worked out. It is so sad, and now Tuesdays seem so hollow, so emptied of goodness, and future good health just seems so lame. This future-good-health thing sounds like something a substitute teacher would try to make sound exciting, but you know how lame it is, especially since your real teacher will be returning tomorrow, and it doesn’t really matter if you do this lame thing or not. That is how I feel: like I am stuck with my substitute teacher with the pea soup breath circa grade four in perpetuity. Oh, woe is me. (Did I use “in perpetuity” correctly? My dictionary only gave me bare-bones help with this one).

In an effort to keep myself on the no-smoking bit, I have started a home tooth-whitening process. I figure that if I spend the bucks on this whitening stuff and start to see results, I will be less likely to go back to the habit that made my teeth this beautiful shade of piss-yellow in the first place. I also figure that my smelling so much less like an ash tray and having a decently flashy smile will cause the Fiery One to be uncontrollably hot for me eternally.

Little Red Boat put me on to this really funny site. Take a look at the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. It is too good to miss. Really. Don’t miss it.

Don’t you just think the Pope rocks hard! I do! AIDS for everyone!

The News Butcher isn’t bad for getting the kind of news you don’t usually hear about.

An awesome time-killer, especially when you are trying to look terribly busy and you don’t care how long that damn telephone rings, (or this is mindless enough that you could do this while on the telephone if you really wanted to. It’s like doodling, only without a pen and paper or the ability to make your own self-directed shapes).

Tooth Stain Facts:
* Tea, coffee, red wine, and smoking are common factors in developing stained teeth.
* The use of a certain family of antibiotics, known as tetracyclines, during childhood is also known for causing brown tooth stains.
* Excessive ingestion of fluoride by young children can cause a type of tooth staining which is termed “fluorosis,” which appears as an overly white spot on the tooth. Fluorosis can be masked by bleaching normally coloured teeth to a lighter shade.
* A tooth that has had a root canal treatment will darken more than the surrounding teeth as years pass.
* Teeth that have a history of being traumatized, such as being bumped in an accident, will darken over time.
* If there is a problem with gum recession, the root surface may become visible and appears darker than the rest of the tooth. That is because the root surface is not covered by enamel but by dentin, which is naturally darker than tooth enamel.

Malcontent, Hollowed Out, The Sweet Old Life, Trying, An Aside, The Combo, Loneliness, And Quitting Smoking (Again)

The Torture Of Attaining "Beauty", News, Personal Ads, The Shaggs, Half Of A Rhyme, Icky Words, And The Penny