Dear Saskatchewan Weather:

I thought it was time I dropped you a note. It’s been a while since we spoke, and I realize that this is due in large part to my level of sensitivity. When it comes to weather in general in this province, I am like a big mushy bruise on a piece of fruit that has gone to rot. I should learn to keep a stiff upper lip when you behave as you do.

It is entirely within your nature to be a sunny and calm 21°C on a Friday, a grey rain over the weekend, and then a snowstorm at the beginning of the week. You are Saskatchewan Weather. You are barometrically capricious, whimsical, the teenager of weather, if you will. We cannot deny who you are, and I want to understand you, but damn, okay, look, I’m really trying here, because you and I are in a situation in which we either have to get along or one of us has to go, and you’re pretty much okay until the planet explodes, so the onus is sort of on me to make us work, but YOU FUCKING SNOWED TODAY.

You and I, we have had a long run together, we’ve been through good times and bad. Hell, it’s almost like we’re married, but today it felt like you overstepped the boundaries a little. I am not asking for an apology, because I know that that’s nigh on impossible for you, but can you at least hold off on the winter end of things for bit longer?

When I look over my shoulder and see all those snowflakes blowing down against the window, it just makes me feel like I’m under attack, and it seems grossly unfair to have you behave this way without first letting me know what makes you feel so justified. Did I flirt too much with Costa Rica Weather in December last year? Is that it? Baby, I told you that meant nothing to me. My parents-in-law paid for that trip. It’s not like I wanted to make you feel jealous.

So, this is hard for me to say, but I think it’s pretty clear from your actions that you are unhappy with me, and to be honest, I’ve been feeling underappreciated since that freak blizzard you threw last March when I was outside walking in the warehouse district with no access to a telephone to call for a taxi. I need some time away before this gets worse. I think we both need some time think about how to move forward. I'm sorry if this seems sudden, but I need to figure some things out. I'll be thinking about you while I'm gone.

Until we see each other again, we’ll always have August.



PS. If you decide to be sunny and need to talk, you can find me hiding in the warmth under the thick comforter in my apartment.