I just received a spam e-mail for something called soft Viagra.

Soft Viagra. Think about that.

Is it soft for the toothless? Is it soft for easier insertion? Is Viagra in some kind of insertable form now? Does it come in different flavours? Can it be baked into cookies?

I haven't looked it up, and I'm not going to. Don't tell me, either. I am having too much fun imagining toothless elders smacking their lips around strawberry-flavoured wads of Viagra and wondering if that Alma down the hall is still as loose as they say.

I'm coming for you, Alma. Drop those bars on your bed, 'cause we're gonna have us some fun!