A Post In Which The Fiery One And I Converse (And Some Ransom)

Schmutzie: Why are you looking at me like that?

Fiery One: Looking at you like what?

Schmutzie: Like you can't stop looking at me. Like my head's a horrible accident.

Fiery One: I'm not looking at you like that.

Schmutzie: Yes, you are. Oh, I get it. You can't turn away from looking at my freakishly large head.

Fiery One: That's what I'm doing. You're right. It's the hugest head I've ever seen.

Schmutzie: It is the largest head in the whole world, you know. The Guinness Book of World Records is after me.

Fiery One: Are they going to pay you for the use of your monstrous visage?

Schmutzie: No.

Fiery One: Well, I'll tell you what we have to do. We have to find a way to make money with this thing. (He points at my head) How are we going to do it?

Schmutzie: First off, I have to cover it up with a paper bag or something, because as it is, I'm just standing around here giving it away for free.

Fiery One: You're like some kind of head slut. Do you think we could do it like a freak show. How much should we charge?

Schmutzie: I'm thinking that five bucks a look would be good. People would line up for blocks. They would marvel at the strength of my neck and its ability to stabilize my ginormous noggin.

Fiery One: They would marvel at the great man that I am, a man that is able to love you despite your obvious cranial gigantism.

Schmutzie: Yes, you are a great man. No other has been able to see past my physical difference.

Fiery One: That's because no one could see past it. I haven't seen the rest of the room since you started talking to me.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

"Painted Head" by John Crowe Ransom

I must point out this Scrabble jewelry. Being a long-time Scrabble fan, I would experience a small orgasmic mini-death if I found one of these under the Christmas tree. On a similar note, the New York Public Library has some good stuff for sale.

Go to Wikipedia's April Fool's Day page.


Elan Morgan

Elan Morgan is a writer and web designer who blogs from elanmorgan.com and works from elan.works, spreads gratitude through the graceinsmallthings.com social network, and speaks all over. They have been seen in the Globe & Mail, Best Health and Woman's Day magazines, TEDxRegina, and on CBC News and Radio. They believe in and work to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.